Ask Andy #6
Doug, a Breather from somewhere in California asks:
Do zombies go on vacation? If so, how do they get on the airplane? Isn’t that a Bio Hazard risk? Can zombies tan?
Well, Doug, the answer to your first question is NO. Zombies do not go on vacation. At least not on purpose. Sure, we get to spend some quality time at the zombie zoo, but not as spectators. Then there’s the occasional trip to the impact testing centers. And some of us do get to spend several weeks out of the year decomposing on the side of a hill at a forensic research facility in Tennessee. But that’s about as close as we get to Graceland. And of course, it’s a one-way ticket.
The only way zombies get on an airplane is in a body bag.
Bio Hazard risk? We’re not contagious. And unless you’re infested with maggots, chances are you’re not going to leave any parts of you behind. Unless, of course, you’re a Melter. But if you want to know the truth, some of us have better hygiene than Breathers. You ever ride a city bus, Doug?
And as far as I know, zombies don’t tan. Considering that our skin is already dried out, spending any time in direct sunlight, even with SPF 100, isn’t a good idea. We have enough physical challenges without having to contend with a sunburn. That and heat tends to speed up the process of decomposition. So we tend to seek out cooler climates.
Thanks for your questions, Doug.
