Ask Andy
Samantha, from the wonderful world of AOL, asks:
I don’t get the whole problem between society and zombies. Can you explain a little bit more?
Well Samantha, the problem is that society as we all know it is ruled by the living. By Breathers. And Breathers tend to have a thing about subjugating and suppressing those members of it’s society that they feel are inferior to them. Unfortunately for those who are not among the living, for those of us who are reanimated corpses, we have to endure the indignities of our existence by a society that no longer considers us human.
This includes being called names, pelted with expired food products, thrown into bonfires, tied up and dragged behind SUVs, randomly dismembered by fraternities and bowling leagues, and generally discriminated against. Not to mention all of the basic rights that we’ve lost simply because we didn’t stay dead. It’s not our fault we became zombies. We didn’t choose this path. But we’re punished for it because Breathers choose to react with fear to others they don’t understand.
Yes, I know. There’s the issue of zombies eating human flesh, but really, if you think about it, we could be a benefit to society by targeting career politicians, CEO’s of oil companies, smokers who throw cigarettes out of their car windows, rapists, murderers, pedophiles, and professional athletes who lie about using steroids. We’re also willing to work with the local and state agencies to help cut down on the cost of incarceration for career criminals or those condemned to death. It’s a lot less expensive to feed a serial killer to a zombie than it is to give him a lethal injection.
This is Andy, your friendly neighborhood zombie, signing off.
