Undead Anonymous

We’re here just past the quarter way point through the alphabet and we hit the best collection of titles to date, including one of my favorite literary reads of all time and another book that I see on the Employee’s Favorites shelf at a number of bookstores.

Titles like Great Expectations, The Grapes of Wrath, and The Green Mile didn’t make the cut, while I’ve never read Gone With the Wind, The Godfather, or The Golden Compass. I did have to leave Good Omens off the list, but since I’m limiting this to the top three reads, sometimes I have to make some tough calls.

Though to be honest, the first two on this list were never in question. And the third was a seminal read in the early stages of my writing. So no real contest there, either.

On to the selections of my Favorite Books that Begin with the Letter G:

Numero uno:
The Great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald
One of my favorite books of all time, Gatsby is often on the list of most over-rated novels of all time, but I loved the story and the characters and the eloquent, descriptive writing. A marked contrast to Hemingway’s stark prose, but a style I much prefer. If I ever find myself in the midst of reading uninspiring novels or stuck in my own writing, I will always pick this up and read through a few chapters to remind myself what good writing is supposed to look like.

Sloppy seconds:
Geek Love, Katherine Dunn
The Binewskis are a married carny couple who set out, with the help of amphetamines, arsenic, and radioisotopes, to breed their own exhibit of human oddities in order to save their traveling carnival. Narrated by one of the children, this is the most unique dysfunctional family you’ll ever meet. Dark, perverse, and imaginative.

And baby makes three:
Ghost Story, Peter Straub
As I mentioned, this was one of the novels I read in the mid-eighties that inspired me to travel down the path that eventually led me here. My favorite novel by Straub, Ghost Story is one of those rare novels that is both chilling and beautiful.

Favorite monosyllabic book:
Green Eggs and Ham, Dr. Seuss
Actually, only 49 of the 50 words used in Green Eggs and Ham are single syllable, with “anywhere” being the anomalous offender. I wish I still had the copy I owned as a kid.

And as always, if you have your own favorites, feel free to share them.

I can almost hear that as a cheer for some high school football team. “F is for fear and fight and Fahrenheit! Go Flames!” Or something like that. I don’t know. Maybe I’m reaching here.

As opposed to the Letter E, I’ve read a number of books that begin with F. Flowers for Algernon, False Memory, Franny and Zooey, and Freaky Friday, just to name a few. I’m embarrassed to admit that I have yet to read Frankenstein, but am not embarrassed to say that I’ve never read For Whom the Bell Tolls. If you’ve read some of my posts, you know I’m not a big fan of Hemingway. (See my second Classic Literature Razzie below.)

The top three on this list were pretty easy. Nothing else even came close. Though you might be surprised at what took the top spot:

Takes the gold
Fahrenheit 451, Ray Bradbury
Bradbury’s dystopian novel about a futuristic society that bans reading, discourages critical thinking, and has firemen that burn books is probably one of my top 50 books of all time. While it’s always been considered a commentary on censorship, Bradbury contends that it’s a story about how television and the mass media destroys our interest in reading literature.

Settles for silver
Fight Club, Chuck Palahniuk
This is one of those rare instances where I liked the movie better than the book. Of course, I saw the film first, which might have influenced me. Still, if you’ve never read Chuck, then there’s no place better to start than his debut novel about a main character who goes to extremes to regain his masculinity. Great social commentary on male bonding, capitalism, and the consumer culture.

Just happy to be on the podium
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Hunter S. Thompson
The opening line and paragraphs alone are enough to include this here. This fast and furious, often surreal novel about the drug-induced pursuit of the American Dream almost made me feel like I was under the influence while reading it.

The second Classic Literature Razzie goes to:
A Farewell to Arms, Ernest Hemingway
I know Hemingway is credited with having a major influence on 20th century fiction with his unique writing style, but I just don’t care for him. Especially this novel, which is filled with run-on sentences, repetitive use of qualifiers, and frequent stretches of dialogue involving multiple characters with no indication as to who’s speaking.  While I think you can get away with some of these transgressions in popular fiction, when it comes to classic literature, I guess I expect something more, I don’t know, literary.

Plus, the death scene at the end, where Catherine is in the hospital and the main character, Frederic, is trying to comfort her? I don’t have the book in front of me, but I recall the dialogue going something like this:

“I love you,” he said. “I love you. I love you. I love you.”
“And I love you.”
“I love you so much.”
“I love you.”
“I love you. I love you. I love you.”
“I love you.”

This book is my top Classic Literature Razzie of all time.

As it turns out, I haven’t read a lot of books that begin with the letter E. And I’ve read even fewer that make my list of favorites.

Admittedly, I’ve never read East of Eden by John Steinbeck (or Cannery Row, for that matter). Neither have I read The Eyes of the Dragon by Stephen King, which is probably the only King book I’ve never read. I did read his short story collection Everything is Eventual, but in spite of my last post, I’m trying to refrain from including collections. Plus I didn’t think it was one of his best.

And although I read Edith Wharton’s Ethan Frome in American Literature as a junior in high school, alas, that book wouldn’t make the top three even if it was the only one I’d read that began with an E.

As it turns out, I don’t have three that made the list. And really, only one that was a sure thing. So here we go…

First across the finish line:
The Exorcist, William Peter Blatty
Although the book was first published in 1971, I didn’t read it until 1995. Along with Stephen King’s The Shining, this is one of the only two books I’ve ever read that made me want to leave the light on after I went to bed. Much more frightening than the film. But you don’t get to see Linda Blair vector vomiting split pea soup.

Bringing up the rear:
Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, Jonathan Safran Foer
I actually just finished reading this, mostly because I wanted to read another novel that begins with an E and a friend happened to have this on her shelf. While I liked it, I didn’t love it. I found myself skimming over pages of prose and that’s never the sign of a novel I’m going to love, even if I did find the story and the style in which it was told compelling. And I will pick up Everything is Illuminated to see what that one’s like.

D is also for Delayed, as in this blog post. While I’ll do my best to get out a couple of these each week, occasionally I have something else I want to blog about. Or, more likely, since I’m spending 4-6 hours a day at my computer writing while trying to finish my next book, sometimes I need to unplug.

Plus, I have some books on my shelf that I’ve been meaning to read for years and I’m hoping that somehow I’ll manage to read them before the appropriate letter so I’ll know whether or not to include them. One of those books actually makes this list as this week’s Bonus Entry.

On to the selections for the letter D:

First across the finish line:
A Dirty Job, Christopher Moore
This was my introduction to Moore and it immediately got me hooked. A clever premise, a likable Beta male protagonist, the Emperor of San Francisco, hell hounds, the Grim Reaper, a character named Minty Fresh, and humorous, engaging prose make this a fun read. If you haven’t discovered the world of Christopher Moore, then let this be your first foray into it.

Close but no cigar:
The Dead Zone, Stephen King
If you’ve read my bio or posts about my influences, then you know that Stephen King is the reason I wanted to become a writer.  One of his earliest works, and among those I still consider his best, The Dead Zone tells the story of Johnny Smith who comes out of a five-year coma after a car accident and discovers that his head injury has caused him to develop psychic abilities. Good characters.  Great storytelling.  Vintage King.

At least you’re on the podium:
The Deportees and Other Stories, Roddy Doyle
While this isn’t technically a novel, I’m including it here because it was one of the most enjoyable short story collections I’ve read in years. Written by the author who penned The Commitments, The Snapper, and The Van (all of which were adapted into films), Deportees is a humorous and poignant collection of stories about modern day Ireland.

*Novel you think I would have read:
Dracula, Bram Stoker
This has been sitting on my shelf for I think a good ten years now. Never read it so couldn’t include it on the list. Someday, I’m sure to get around to giving it a look-see.

There are a lot of “C” titles that didn’t make my list of favorite reads.  Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl.  Catch-22 by Joseph Heller.  Carrie by Stephen King.  Choke by Chuck Palahniuk.

While I enjoyed all of them and more, I’m forcing myself to limit my choices to my top two or three, so it’s inevitable that some worthy reads won’t make the cut.  But it’s not much of a list of favorites if I include everything, now is it?

So on to the winners:

First Place
Catcher in the Rye, J.D. Salinger
The fact that Mark David Chapman sat down to read this book after shooting John Lennon isn’t enough to keep it off the list, but I can’t think of this book without getting pissed off at Chapman, who apparently thought Lennon was a “phony.” Still, Salinger’s novel about teenage angst, identity, and alienation resonates nearly sixty years after its publication. Probably one of my favorite books of all time.

Tied For First
Cat’s Cradle, Kurt Vonnegut
The second Vonnegut novel to make an appearance here (and not the last), this is probably my favorite. Not only did he manage to skewer science, technology, and religion, but he created his own religion, the basic premise of which is that all religion, including Bokononism, is formed entirely of lies. Of course, if you believe these lies, you will at least have peace of mind. Nice, nice, very nice.

A Distant Third
City of Thieves, David Benioff
My most recent “C” novel that I’ve read, this one had great characters, a good story, and reminded me that the joy of reading is often the discovery of an author’s ability to craft words in such a way that makes you appreciate the beauty of the written word.

And the first Classic Literature Razzie goes to:
Crime and Punishment, Fyodor Dostoevsky
This was assigned for reading in my high school junior year Western Literature class. The crime was that the book was ever written. The punishment was that I had to read it.

Not Beat as in the Beat Generation.  I’ve never read any Allen Ginsberg, William S. Burroughs, or Jack Kerouac.  I never had a Naked Lunch or went On the Road.  I suppose at some point I should, just to see what all the fuss is about, but right now they’re not on my list of books to read.

When I look at my bookshelf and I try to recount some of the books I’ve read, some of the books that didn’t make the list for the letter B include Beowulf, Brave New World, and Breakfast at Tiffany’s, which I didn’t include because it was a novella and I’m trying to focus on novels.  And while I know a lot of people love the film version with Audrey Hepburn, I can’t stand it.  It’s popcorn while the novella by Capote is filet mignon.

Okay, enough stalling.  On to my selections for the favorite books I’ve read that start with the letter B:

First Place
Beat the Reaper, Josh Bazell
A fun, imaginative read that bounces back and forth between the present day life and the hidden past of Peter Brown, mob hit man turned Manhattan intern. The writing is crisp and sharp and funny and the medical research done by Bazell, who wrote the novel while completing his internship, makes you never want to spend any time in a hospital. Clever and funny in all the right places. One of my favorite reads of 2009.

Runners-Up
The Black Dahlia, James Ellroy
I picked up Ellroy’s first installment of his L.A. Quartet because I loved the film L.A. Confidential, which is the third of the four novels. I’ll also note here that I stopped caring about the Academy Awards when Titanic took home the 1997 Best Picture Oscar instead of L.A. Confidential. But as for the novel, I enjoyed Ellroy’s narrative and the way he wove in the real life murder of Elizabeth Short in 1947 Los Angeles. As in real life, the crime is never solved, but the story is about the relationship between those involved in the investigation and how it consumes their lives.

Breakfast of Champions, Kurt Vonnegut
I’m planning to re-read this because it’s been so long since I enjoyed it, but it’s still one of my favorite Vonnegut novels. Although I like Cat’s Cradle and Slaughterhouse Five better, this is classic Vonnegut, dark and satirical, skewering America and creating tragic characters in his own inimitable way.

Oh, and as a follow-up note to the last entry, A is for American (Psycho and Gods), somehow I managed to forget about Animal Farm by George Orwell. It should have been a definite runner-up.  My apologies to Orwell for the oversight.

Okay.  I’ve started a new blog endeavor, which is to share my favorite books I’ve read from A to Z.  To be clear, I’m not saying these are the best books beginning with these letters.  Just the best books I’ve read throughout my life.  For the sake of argument, I’ve left out short story collections and anthologies and have stuck mostly with fiction, though one or two works of non-fiction might make it in.

I’ll include my favorite novel, then one or two runners-up and, occasionally, one novel I couldn’t stand.  These will usually be classic works of literature I was forced to read in school, which I’m still happy to complain about. And I invite you to share your thoughts on my picks and your own favorite novels that begin with each letter.

So, without further delay, we’ll get on with the letter A:

And the winner is:
American Psycho, Bret Easton Ellis
A friend bought this for me years ago. I doubt I would have picked it up myself and had no idea what it was about but found it amusing, compelling, inspiring, disturbing, and impossible to stop thinking about. Great satire and social commentary, with an ending that I found ambiguously perfect.

Close but no cigar:
American Gods andAnansi Boys, Neil Gaiman
I’m not sure which one I enjoyed more, so I’ll include them both here. I loved the themes of immortality and the way Gaiman played with concepts of gods in American Gods, but found the storytelling in Anansi Boys to be more playful and engaging.  Either one is well worth the time.  Read them both.

What about…?
The first novel to come to mind for A was Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll but, um, well, I haven’t read it.

That old saying: “It’s so bad, it’s good.”  Well, when it comes to movies, I have to disagree.  Bad acting, bad scripts, and bad direction only create one thing.  Bad movies.  Unwatchable movies.  Movies that make me glad I’m watching them for $9.00 a month on Netflix and not for $9.00 a pop at the movie theaters.

And those are matinee prices.

Obviously, everyone has their own opinion on the artistic merit of movies.  Personal preferences and perceptions come into play, which is what make movies and other form of art what they’re supposed to be.  Subjectively enjoyed.  As a friend once said, the moment you start to quantify art, it ceases to become art.

That said, I’ve recently watched several movies through Netflix that I’d always been told I had to see for one reason or another.  Movies I’d somehow missed that were cult classics or must-see movies:  MAD MAX, BUBBA HO-TEP, and RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD.  While I found BUBBA HO-TEP more marginally watchable ( come to think of it, I don’ think I actually finished watching the film), I can’t ever imagine having a reason to watch MAD MAX or RETURN ever again.

Yes, I know MAD MAX was made in 1979.  Yes, I know RETURN was supposed to be silly.  And yes, I know there are worse movies.  But ALIEN was made in 1979 and I can watch it every day.  AIRPLANE and TOP SECRET were meant to be silly and they’re much smarter films with better writing.  And I haven’t seen any movies that are worse than these in the past twelve months.

By the way, the worst film I think I ever saw was GYMKATA.  Though HEARTBEEPS, HOUSE, and PRAYER OF THE ROLLERBOYS are in the running.  As is almost every Sylvester Stallone film that came out in the 1980s.

So what do you think?  What movies were you told you had to see that you thought were a waste of time and money?  What are your unwatchable films?

I’ve been asked a lot about a sequel for Breathers.

Am I writing one?  Did I plan on one?  When will the next one come out?

To be honest, I never intended to write a sequel to Breathers or to turn it into a series.  First, I already had ideas for several novels after this one.  Second, I didn’t want to be pigeonholed as a zombie author (not that there’s anything wrong with that) and be limited to that genre for my writing life.  And third, the original ending for Breathers was much darker than the one that made it into print.  No ambiguity.  No hope.  No chance of a sequel.

So while I prescribe to the concept of never say never, at the moment I don’t have any plans for a sequel to Breathers.  If I can come up with an original idea that isn’t derivative of the original material and doesn’t tread over a lot of common ground, then maybe.  But I have a hard time believing that a sequel would be better than the original.

Which brings me to the topic of this post…

It’s been rare that I’ve enjoyed any sequel or any second or third installment of a series as much as I enjoyed the original.  Most of the time, they failed miserably to live up to the expectations of the first installment.

The Matrix.  Star Wars.  Indiana Jones.

I can watch the original Matrix over and over, but the sequels?  Yawn.  I thought The Empire Strikes Back was a lot of fun, but it ended like a serial, which pissed me off, even as a teenager when I saw it at the theater.  Return of the Jedi was a little silly and the three prequels lacked any heart.  And while The Last Crusade rivaled Raiders of the Lost Ark, the other two Indiana Jones films, especially the last one, bordered on being unwatchable.

Some other random sequels:

Airplane II had some wonderful moments but wasn’t nearly as funny as the original.  Goldmember helped to redeem the Austin Powers series after The Spy Who Shagged Me, but still couldn’t measure up to the first of the bunch.  And Men in Black II was such a huge disappointment that I often forget it was ever made.

And don’t even get me started on the Rocky series.  Clubber Lang?  Dolph Lungren?  Please.

On the flip side, I loved the Alien trilogy, (though I’m trying to expunge Alien Resurrection from my brain).  Yes, I even enjoyed Alien 3.  The Road Warrior was a worthy sequel to Mad Max, but Beyond the Thunderdome was a bit of a blight on the series.  I thought The Dark Knight was an excellent film on its own, perhaps even better than Batman Begins (Heath Ledger’s portrayal of The Joker is worth multiple viewings).  The only problem was the fact that Christian Bale started growling halfway through the film. None of the children of Tim Burton’s Batman were as good as their father.

The Lord of the Rings trilogy was a fun ride all the way through, though admittedly I’d never read Tolkien’s version so when the first film ended without an ending, I let out a groan along with most of the rest of the theater audience. The Bourne Ultimatum was an improvement over The Bourne Supremacy and arguably better than The Bourne Identity.  And while Godfather III was an average film, The Godfather II was a worthy, and some will say better, follow-up to The Godfather.  I’d say “it’s hard to argue with a Best Picture Oscar,” but Titanic won out over L.A. Confidential in 1997 and Dances With Wolves beat out Goodfellas in 1990, so I can’t use that criteria as justification.

Oh, and my vote for the best sequel based on how much an improvement they were on their originals?  It’s a tie.  Evil Dead 2 and Terminator 2.

Obviously, I’m leaving out a lot of series and sequels, including Star Trek, the James Bond franchise, Rambo, Friday the 13th, American Pie (I thought American Wedding was the funniest of the bunch), Hellboy, Die Hard, and Pirates of the Caribbean (the second and third installments weren’t nearly as good as the first).

And yes, since we’re here, I can’t forget the Romero Films, but other than the original Dawn of the Dead, I don’t think the last three in the series hold up to NOTLD.

Admittedly, I haven’t read as many series or sequels as I’ve seen on film.  I think part of this is that, when I do a search for the Best Book Series of All Time, most of the lists I come across are filled with YA titles like Lemony Snicket, The Chronicles of Narnia, and The Golden Compass.

While I did read the first Harry Potter and the first installment of Twilight (I’m of the opinion that Edward’s a psychotic stalker and that vampires should never sparkle).  Although I know a lot of adults loved both series, they’re YA novels and I’m not exactly the target audience, so I didn’t feel a desire to continue.

While I’m sure there are sequels and series out there for adult readers, the only series I have read all the way through is Stephen King’s The Dark Tower saga, which I thought peaked with the fourth installment, Wizard and Glass.  After that, I felt it sort of wound its way down rather than building up to the end.

And in case you’re wondering, no, I still haven’t read The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.

So what the hell does all of this rambling and listing accomplish other than to share my own personal tastes?  It says that I’m dubious of sequels to stand up to the originals.  Most of the time, they just don’t cut it, so going back to the original question about a sequel, the only way I will write one is if I think it will hold up to Breathers.

So what are your thoughts?  On a sequel to Breathers?  On the films and books I’ve listed?  On the films and books I haven’t listed?  On sequels and series in general?