Social Undeath
the social options for zombies are pretty limited. for starters, we’re not allowed in restaurants, shopping malls, movie theaters, bars, grocery stores, or any other place where we might disturb the living. we’re not even allowed in cemeteries, at least not during the day. and with an 11pm curfew, that doesn’t leave us with a lot of time to mingle.
of course, you don’t really want to be out wandering around alone after sunset, not unless you’re willing to risk getting dismembered by fraternity pledges or dragged around by rednecks while tied to the bumper of a sports utility vehicle or duct-taped to a utility pole by teenagers with a firecracker shoved up your ass.
i always did play it a bit more cautious, even in life, so i spend most of my time in the wine cellar watching cable television and drinking my father’s wine collection. other than the twice weekly undead anonymous meetings, i don’t get out much. and as one of the living dead, my options for romance are pretty limited. i haven’t been to any of the zombie sing;es’ mixers, but i hear they’re a regular maggot-fest.
