Ask Andy #1
this week’s question comes from a breather in california who asks:
do zombies itch?
yes, most definitely. zombies do itch. not only do we have to deal with the discomfort of suppurating wounds and ingrown stitches, but there’s the whole hygiene issue to consider. no amount of head and shoulders is going to improve the condition of a gradually decaying scalp. and zombie’s foot is so common among the not so recently reanimated that tinactin has become the number one selling product for breathers who have a member of the undead living with them.
in addition, zombies can itch from psoriasis, hemorrhoids, and jock itch to formaldehyde allergies, anal leakage, and sloughage. and i’m not even going to mention the discomfort of a maggot infestation.
if you’ve never had a fresh crop of maggots crawling around beneath the surface of your skin, then you probably wouldn’t understand
